Stronger: The Story of the Rejected District Girl
by hipstergamer
Summary: Cecil was born to Capitol parents who gave her up for her mental issues. She always have conflicted herself and the games make it worst. Lot of pairings, some you will be surprised on. All Hunger Games belong to Susan Collins! Rated M for later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

'What doesn't kill you makes you stronger  
>stand a little taller<br>Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone.

What doesn't kill you makes a fighter  
>Footsteps even lighter<br>Doesn't mean I'm over cause you're gone. '

I remember my name, Cecil Elizabeth Taylor. I might not remember my birth parents; it never mattered to me. They rejected me, since I was not perfect for their pesky Capitol standards. I did not need them, even if the community home was not the ideal place to live. I survived with out parents for all these years; I have lasted with out support and comfort. I lived with dim gray walls all my life; I have lived with out color all my life. Even my clothes where a depressing gray, and I did not go to school due to my Dyslexia, so my life lacked color. Well I had one colorful thing, an eggshell, white ribbon that I tied my hair up in.

There was a bell; it was time for roll call. I get up from my bed and head towards the cafeteria area. Kids start packing the small area and sit at the their assigned tables. A small, paunchy, dark haired man with a small set of wire glasses stands on the stage. He was the head of the home and was the one who conducted roll call. Usually this would only last a couple of minutes and we would dissipate; however, he keeps us there longer. "There are going to be a transfer of some of our members to District Three, if your name is called, pleases walk onto the stage," his monotone voice announces, "you will be able to grab your personal belongings before you go."

He starts to read the last names from the list, "Sacramento…Said…Sailer…Saint…Taylor…" Did he just say Taylor? My heart was racing as I stood up and walked onto the stage. There were about twenty of us when he reads off the last name on the list. We all stand on stage, with unison of silence. Why were they moving us to another district? Looking around most of the people that were standing with me were my age, eleven. "Sit, sit, sit where ever you wish to sit, make sure it is in the front so you can hear," he smiles at us.

I jump off the stage and sit right in front of the head of the home, my eyes glued to him. His gray eyes meet mine for only a second, but that second felt like forever. I could see the pain underneath his pride, the words of comfort between the words of sorrow. There was no reason that I needed my parents, I learned to see through people's emotions. "You all are going to have a better life, I know you will not get what is going on at school, just try your best. You all will be able to get out, we all will miss you," the head smiles at all of us, "now go, get your things and meet me back here."

We all exit the room and head towards the mass bedroom. I head over to my bed, the white covers already pulled off leaving the mattress. I pull a box from under the bed, which held all of my personal items. I laid it on top of the bed and pulled out a small, brown, leather messenger bag. I dug through the box, placing the items into the bag. A box of pencils, a note pad, sticky notes, a sketchpad defined my life. What a pity existence, I always wanted to be greater.

I peer through the box one more time; there was nothing else but a broken pair of glasses and a small piece of crumbled paper. I pick of the cardboard, and throw it in the garbage on my way out from this place. I head back into the cafeteria, and turn out to be the last one to arrive. The head grumbles something under his breath as I sit down at the table everyone else was. A group of peacekeepers keep their eyes on us as we receive our last instructions, "okay, you all must not tell about your lives in District Five. Just say you had been home schooled all of your life outside of the Community Home in three. Got it?"

We all nod our heads and the Peacekeepers place us in groups of five. They walk two per group as we head out into the outside of District Five. The sun beats down onto my eyes, I close them I tight as I could. The air was warm, the sun felt good on my pale skin. We walk through the main square to get to the train station. Citizens and passersby were staring at us, why they were was a mystery. I just ignore their arrogant talk about the _'poor little bastards, do not know what is coming to them.' _I let the comments go, I had to. They all would see, when I leave a mark on this world, that I would be stronger than them.

My group was the first to arrive to the train station, and we step on.

The train was a mess, broken bottles, chandeliers, and lamps were scattered everywhere. The smell was repulsive and nauseating, a mixture of old gym socks and decaying bodies. I head over to a small room; there was a window that I just stared out of. Everybody else went into the larger bedrooms, but I wanted this one room to myself. There was a roll call, but not as a group. Peacekeepers knocked at my door, making sure I was still alive. "I am here," I whispered, I just kept my eyes out the window. They moved on and the room kept quiet. The silence was nice.

There was no bed in my room; I did not want a bed. I just kept up the whole night, I wrote notes to myself. _'Try your best', 'Keep true to yourself', 'District Three is going to be your rise from your falling life'._

Dawn stretched out across the land; the sky was painted with pink and orange hues. The grass was an unnatural green; the rolling hills had a calming feature with out a disturbance on the horizon. We passed by trees, they blurred into small green blobs. We continue to make the path up a hill, making an agile assault towards District Three. I could hear my stomach growl as the sun finally woke up from its daily nap. There was a loud bang from the outside; I guess they were trying to make us food.

"Everybody up, roll call in the kitchen," a peacekeeper with an irked tone shouts from the hall. I pack up my notepad and head into the hallway. There was a young peacekeeper stood in front of my door. "Hello Ms. Taylor, follow me, I will be your escort into District Three." It turns out only eight of us were going to District Three, the others to Ten. My peacekeeper was a kind, good hearted, twenty something with a smile that lit up the room. I could always remember that smile; from what place did it come from? I never understood why he was so joyful in this hell of a position.

"Taylor, Sacramento, Carley, Said, Marks, Tony, Yoki, Maylee," our names were called out, "get ready your stop is coming up in ten minutes. Get your personal belongings." My peacekeeper, whose name was Ince, was staring at me. I just nodded my head and patted my messenger bag. I was already ready for this event.

"_One more stab to the heart, one more reason to hate. One less reason to live."  
>― <em>_Elie Wiesel__, __Night_

District Three was a dim place, just like Five. It was cloudy, everybody looked the same in my eyes, my ADHD wanted to explore, and my brain knew that might mean death. I peer up at Ince, who just holds onto my hand and walks me through the streets. Everybody who passed us smiled and gave us small waves. They where so kind here, again what world did this kindness come from?

We all head into a large building with many windows, the outside where made of wood and stone. I felt like I was going to love this place Ince and me step inside the building and instantly we are greeted with the head of the house. It was an older man, large glasses, small frame, and black hair. He smiles at me, "you must be from Five?"

I nod my head, "yes, hello."

"Hello to you miss, welcome to District Three's community home. May I ask what your name is? So I may get your room assignment and give you some more information," The head asked, dabbing his forehead with a towel. The other workers greeted the other kids that came from five.

"I am Cecil Elizabeth Taylor," I did not show emotion; I kept my information to the least I could say. There still was no trust from this place. The man smiled and looked down at his clipboard and grabbed onto my hand. I quickly say goodbye to Ince before walking away with this mysterious man.

The head of the building leads me down a blue hallway. He never lets go of my hand as we walk down the hall; I could hear the steady beat of our shoes on the wood floor. Nobody else was in this hallway. He stops in front of a door second to last by small, what looked like a palm tree. The man takes out his master keys from his pocket. The door opened and the dim light from outside hit me. At first I believe I am outside, but my eyes adjust and I notice the room was large. On one side windows lined the walls, the other walls were light blue. The ceiling made of wood. My personality was pleased.

"If you would like some paint, just ask," the head explained to me, "you are allowed to do what you want. We will bring in your bed and desk later. We just need to know what size you need. You look like you can fit a twin. I guess that is what you need. Okay, get adjusted to you room, I will be back in about twenty minutes to see how you are doing. Dinner is at five." The man bowed his and left my new room.

I sat down on the dark wood floor and stared out the window. You could see the factories, the smoke that swirled from the towers to the sky. The sky was gray from all the smog. I just sat there for the twenty minutes, when the head came back to check on me he mentioned my closet and dinner. He left once again and I was curious what I was going to be able to wear for now on.

On the adjacent wall on the windows, there was a small brown closet. I flung the doors opened and noticed the color of my wardrobe. It was in many hues, except one white dress, that I guessed would be for when I start going to the reaping. I barely missed this year's reaping, when double the tributes went into the arena.

At five I went to dinner, there was a hand full of kids from three in there. Maybe about seventeen at the most, the rest of the group was from my group. I was exhausted by this time and slid into a seat by a three boy. Tonight dinner was eggs and apples. Perfect, I did not care what I ate as long as I got food. I devoured it; I have not had food since yesterday. I was forced to mingle with the boy next to me since we were still yet to leave. "So what is your name?" the boy asked me, pushing up his glasses and staring down at a small box.

"Cecil, yours?" I ask back, staring down at the box he was playing with as well.

"Circuit, pleasure to meet you Cecil," he quickly glances up, "why are you in the community home?"

I did not trust this boy, so I lied, "my father died from a poisonous snake in the genetic engineering lab."

"Oh really? At least you met your father, my mom and dad died when I was a baby. I have been here for seven years."

"At least got this good of a place," I rolled my eyes, he was spoiled with this place. I had to survive in the mass bedroom, peacekeepers beating me everyday and calling me a stupid reject, and he said he had it bad? "How was your old community home?" the boy asked, "was it horrible."

"It surely was hell, " I leaned back into my chair, biting at my nails. They were already horrible, might as well not stop this habit. The other children were looking at me like I was a monster; I just ignored their stares. Nothing was wrong with me; I was perfect in my own way.

Once I was able to leave, I left. I ran into my room and just stared out the window once again. The sun was starting its descend back its nightly slumber. I stare at it until there is a knock on the door. "Come in," I whisper and start biting my nails once again. The head walks in and sits on the bed, he just stares at me for a couple of minutes. "Do you know why you are here?" he asks me.

I shake my head, "no sir I do not."

"Children that are abandoned in three of course are here, but those who have potential are also sent here. Darling Dr. Mengele, your last head, sent you here because he always told me that you were the only one that he though would become something. You showed me that today. I want to work with you and I want to learn more about you. By the way you may call me J," the head explains to me, "meet me in room 201 tomorrow after breakfast. I want to talk to you some more. Be in bed by ten." He steps up, dusts himself off and leaves the room, closing the door behind him. I notice my desk and bed, I get up and throw my messenger bag over the desk chair and lay down on my navy blue comforter.

I force my self to sleep that night, and I have dreams of the hell that I suffered weeks before.

There was a young man, no more than twenty-five, standing in front of me. He had dark blue hair and silver eyes. His neck was pierced with crystals. He was from the Capitol. "No, no, no! Please do not leave me here daddy!" I shout to him. The man puts his face up in disgust and slams the door onto my face. I grumbled cuss words to myself and the peacekeepers ran into the room. This meant life and death right now. I just sat there and a gunshot ran out.

_White, white is all that I saw. There was a bright light that I entered. "Cecil, wake up," I heard a gentle voice called. I shook it off and tried to see where I was going. The voice rang out again, the same words that it spoke moments before. It echoed now. "Cecil darling, it is time for breakfast," the voice suddenly said again._

My eyes open, the sun was out already and the light was blaring into my room. The Head stands over me and takes a step back as I pull myself up. He smiles and leaves the room. It was going to be a long morning. I get dressed into some black, tight jeans and a white t-shirt. I pull over a hooded jacket and head out into hall.

During Breakfast I ate silently and alone; everyone must be scared of me. I ate while staring out at the sea of black from the people of District Three. They all were heading towards the square for the last final moments of the Hunger Games. Luckily we did not have to go, but we were forced to watch in the sitting room. I did not pay attention to the last moments, but I knew there was a new winner.

When that was over, the head dragged me into his office. He sat me one of the black, fuzzy, chairs that were across from his desk. He tapped his hand on top of the wood of his desk. I glanced around; there were pictures of his family on top of every piece of furniture. "What do you want to know about me?" I ask him.

"Who are your birthparents?" he questioned me.

"I did not know my birthparents, they did not want me in their life since I was ADHD and Dyslexic. All I know about them was that they were in the Capitol. They wanted me to be a champion," I whisper to him, tapping my thigh with my long fingers.

"They do that to you poor kids, they do not want to have the trouble of working with wonderful kids who will turn out to be better than their parents," J whispers, his dark brown eyes glued to mine, "how about your talents?"

"I sketch mostly, that probably is my biggest talent," I reply, turning my head to get my eyes off of his.

"That is a great talent. How about favorite color?"

"Navy Blue."

"Why are you so secure about giving information to people? Do you have trust issues?"

"Of course I have trust issues, what makes you think I do not?"

He turned in his chair, and stood up opening the door, "I am going to set up a plan for you, that will include your schedule for school, it starts next month. Thank you for your time." I nod my head and exit his office; he slams the door behind me. There was no sound, everybody must have gone somewhere; it was perfect setting for me. I head back to my room and just sleep; I was too exhausted to do much. Maybe J would help me reach my full potential as a person, and actually sees me as a person.


	2. Chapter 2

"_That which does not kill us makes us stronger."  
>― <em>_Friedrich Nietzsche_

I was human. I am not human any more. The games change you; they change in ways that others will never understand. It is a different hell for each victor. Every canon that rings out makes you degrade into a beast. I cannot stand looking into a mirror anymore, the pain in my dark brown eyes is too much to handle. Most of the time I turn off all the lights in my home, leaving myself in the pure dark like I belong.

I am not the girl at the reaping anymore, the girl with the eggshell bow and pretty white dress. She is dead to me now; there is a new rise of a creature that does not care much for others well-being. The girl before the reaping knew of no pain, did not see kids die from her own hands, and never knew the feeling of regret. My parents where right to throw me out at birth, I am not perfect anymore. The Capitol soiled it for me, I was going to be something great.

I peer down at the television and shudder. It was a replay of my games, it might have been four months after the event, but I still feel as if I where in the arena once again.

I take the next shift to watch out for careers. Pulling over a coat and grabbing a spear I say good-bye to my two allies from Five and Nine. I pull my hood over my head, the wind was extremely cold and snow brushed the leaves of the oak trees around me. The only thing I had was a spear, forget food, the games were probably going to end tonight. About a hundred meters away from the cave I sit under a large oak tree, trying to escape the wind that was maintained its speed.

"Cecil!" I hear the scream from one of my allies; the careers got them. I pull my exhausted body up from the resting place. My hand latches onto my spear and a speed over to our hiding spot. It turns out I was right, the hungry, cold careers were there. It was too late to save my allies; it was I versus a group of five people much larger than me. A fight breaks out between them, quickly there was blood shed.

Fear and anxiety took over, adrenaline rushed through my body as I ran. My feet took me into a random direction. My hands were latched onto the weapon in my hands. I heard them rush through the bushes, or maybe one. All I knew is that I had to end this here and now. I stop in the middle of my tracks and hid behind a tree. The District One boy barreled in like a wild animal, he had killed the rest of the careers, I finally heard the canons. "Come out, come out little Three girl," his voice ran out, out of breath.

Peering around the corner I found out he had no weapon, but he could take me out with his bare hands. There was one chance that I had left to win these games and I took it. I come behind the tree and aim for the District One boy's heart. I threw the spear and the head dug into his chest. "Psst, I going home," I throw my heads up in the air, " the odds were not in you favor." I was staying kind to keep District Three's kind name.

The canon rings out and I move away from the body to allow them to collect it. I find a long about ten meters and away and sit there. It seems like a lifetime before the trumpets reassure me that I am going home. "Ladies and Gentlemen, let me present to you the victor of the Fifty-Seventh Hunger Games, Cecil Taylor of District Three!" Claudius' booming voice announces to me. I feel my body tense up; I survived.

Shortly after a hovercraft collects me, and I am knocked out for most of the ride to the Capitol. When I do wake up I find myself looking into the safety glass, and I was a monster. The bright eyes that I used to have are now dulled, my dark brown hair matted on my head, my glasses cracked, and the dramatic weight loss did not make me look like myself. There was a bandage over my arm, another down on my leg. I could not stretch out; I had an IV connected to both of my arms. It was horrible, it was not me.

I remember the monster that I had become after my games; she still lived in me today. Even if my eyes have went back to normal, my hair was clean and I was clean, there was still a part of her in me. I am still not human for that reason. I even remember the parts after the game in the Capitol.

There were only two people that I wanted to see, Beetee and Wiress. They were silent, but their faces comforted me. I needed some type of comfort right now; even if was just a pencil and a pad of paper. "May I have a pencil a piece of paper?" I ask a nurse that was checking my blood pressure. She nods her head and walks out of the room, leaving me in the hospital bed alone. When the nurse comes back, she also brings my dinner of applesauce and a sandwich. She lays the pad of paper and pencil to my bedside table.

I write and doodle for the next couple of days; my pencil thins out to an inch and half. My notebook filled from cover and cover. When I wake up one morning my prep team greets me. "Oh dear! The Capitol loves you!" my hair stylist shouts, unknotting my hair.

"Really? I thought I was not going to be a winner?" this is the first time I talk to this group, but simple-minded people are going to forget.

"Actually you have been one of them top since you scored that nine. You had tons of sponsors, and all my friends were betting on you," my nail woman speaks in her perfect Capitol accent. I stay quiet for the rest of the time, what else off stetted them? My pity story about my Capitol parents that abandoned me and I have been living in a community home for all my life? Pity words good in the Capitol I guess.

"Okay, okay you guys, you did great but I need to get her dressed right now. Come and admire her later," it was my Stylist, Sienna. His dark brown bangs swept down onto face, his thick framed glasses pulled up on his nose, and simple plaid shirt and blue jeans made me love him. He reminded me of J, but with brown hair and much younger. My stylist comforted me, and I could trust him. "Ready to see your dress?" he asked me, holding up a garment bag.

I nod my head and he opens the bag, a dark gray dress with silver sparkles on the top was pulled out. It was so simple, but it was perfect. He knew how much I hated the gray but he put silver to make me happy and make it beautiful. Sienna pulls it over my head and helps into a pair of silver ballet flats. I run my fingers over the dress when he finishes up on my hair. The dress was soft and light, except for some padding that was in the chest area. I rolled my eyes; I had to look perfect for the Capitol.

"Okay darling, it is time to go," Sienna whispered into my ear. I peer into the mirror before I leave; he had masked the monster that I was. I could not tell the girl I saw in the window days ago. I reach out and grab onto my stylist, who wears just a simple outfit, nothing fancy like I saw earlier with my prep team.

That night I was happy, I was happy to be reunited with people that I trusted and the thought that I was going home. Beetee and Wiress both paced in the area under the stage that night, worried that something would make me go mad. They reassured me though; I would be going home to a better life.

Only life was not better now. Every thing that already went in my head has been magnified and changed for the worst. That was what the sketchpad was for, to make those thoughts go away on paper. It was filled with demented thoughts of the Hunger Games now.

I sit on the edge of a couch in my living room near the window and just gaze out into the world. The leaves were falling by now in an abundance of hues, including purple, which I have never seen before. The sun was shining outside; it set a gentle glow on the dead leaves that have settled to the floor. It was another beautiful day in a string of beautiful days, but I have still yet to set foot out of my home. I did not need the interaction and they gave me a good supply of food in my basement.

There is a knock on the door, and I snap out of my mental state. I lay my sketchbook on the coffee table along with my pencil and pad of sticky notes and head over to the door. Standing there I try to think who it is and just decide to open the door. It felt good opening a door, I never lived in a home that I could do that. "Hello Cecil, I decided to check up on you, may I come in?" Beetee asked in his nervous way.

I nod my head and step to the side and let him in. Why was he checking up on me like I was some kind of baby? I was practically grown up and did not need a baby sitter. He walks into my living room, not taking off his coat, and sits on the loveseat right across from the small couch that I was sitting on moments before. "Cecil, me and Wiress have been worried about you. Do you have somebody living with you?" Beetee asks me, searching for some voice or a sense of life other than myself.

I shake my head, "No, I have no family to live with. I have been on my own for years Beetee."

"Not in this mental state," he whispers then explains to me, "you have not been out of your house for months. You need to see the sun; you need to go outside for a little bit. Stop treating this like your old community home and start treating it as your own."

"I do not want anybody to see me Beetee," I take a seat back in my little couch, "I do not want them to be scared of me. I am a monster, I am not close to anything human."

Beetee sighed and pushes his thick-rimmed glasses up on his nose, "God Damn it Cecil, I want you to understand one thing, we all feel like that. I went through the same thing; I thought I was inhuman since I killed all those poor kids. Just think, you would not be here right now if you did not kill that career. He would have killed you."

I take time to think for a second, even though my mind goes off to another place. Tears start running down my face, but I did not want to show this emotion to my mentor and cover my face with my hands. I needed the solitude of this time. I have not felt like this ever. I never showed my emotions in public. He caught a glimpse of me and heads over to my direction. Pulling his arm around my shoulder, he tries his best to soothe my tears. Eventually I am crying into his jacket, "Oh Cecil, put on your shoes and your jacket and bring a couple of things with you. You are staying over at my house tonight," he whispers and twitches a tiny bit. I nod my head.

He helps me off the couch and goes to find my things. Within seconds he is back with a pair of black flats and my hooded jacket. I push myself to put my flats on and pull over my sweater. The only that I pick up is my sketchbook, sticky notes, and pencil that I had seconds before. Beetee waits by the door and smiles when he sees me, "you ready darling?"

I just nod my head and follow him outside. He had my house keys, so no way of escaping now. We stand elbow to elbow as we walk the short distance to his house. He walks quietly next to me, and watches his surroundings carefully. Beetee especially keeps a watchful eye on me. When we arrive on his porch, he whispers something to himself before taking out his keys. His hand starts to shake a little bit and he accidentally drops his keys. My mentor bends over and picks up his keys. I watch him and giggle under my breath. He was kind of humorous when he is twitchy.

Beetee opens the door, "come on in." I step in, his house was exactly like mine: two story, gray colors, five room, and two baths. He throws his jacket on his coat hanger that had place to keep pictures. He had none. "How old are you Beetee?" I asked him copying his movement and hanging my jacket on the coat hanger.

"I am twenty-eight, why do you ask?" He heads into the living room. Beetee adjusts his black hair and heads into the dining room area to get refreshments. When he comes back I finally answer his question, "you know."

"No, I do not know," Beetee whispers pouring himself a cup of tea and leans back into one of his couches. I pour myself some tea as well and pull my knees up on his loveseat. The tea that he made was filled with spices, but it still was good. Beetee was house was calm; it did not give me memories of the Hunger Games. It was like his face, soothing and reassuring.

"Well you can stay in the bedroom next to mine. I never use it anyways; really I do not use any bedroom other than mine. There is a library in the basement, and of course you know where everything else is," Beetee whispers nervously, placing his cup on the saucer, "if you need me I will be in my room." He leaves to go upstairs. I sit in the sitting room for the longest time thinking after he is gone.

Eventually I lead myself upstairs and sit on the bed. "Crap, am I that horrible at keeping a conversation," I whisper to myself. I fall back into the bed and pull over the covers. I did not change out of my clothes; there was no reason to. For a second I gaze out the window, the moon was full and shining brightly. It helps me descend into a deep sleep, which I have not had in months.

A/N;; Anyways, reviewing is very kind. I apologize if this feels rushed, I am tired and I wanted to get an update out before I went to sleep. Hopefully there will be another tomorrow, if not this weekend. Anyways, thank you for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

_**Mirror on the wall, here we are again  
>Through my rise and fall<br>You've been my only friend  
>You told me that they cant understand the man I am<br>So why are we here talkin' to each other again**  
>― Mirror by Lil Wayne ft. Bruno Mars<em>

I wake up before the sun comes up the next morning; the room I slept in was dark. It had been the first time that I did not have a nightmare from my games in months. I got more than a couple of hours asleep last night. Pulling myself up I run my hands through my dark hair. I fell asleep in my glasses; they are now smudged and have dark spots that block my vision. When I rise out of bed, I exit my silent room and head for the bathroom.

When the light flickers on, I notice myself in the mirror. My dark hair is curly, not straight like usual, and it knots around my head. Taking off my glasses, I blurrily gaze into the mirror, I had dark circles under my eyes. My pale cheeks are flushed with red. "She is back," I whisper, "get away." The person in the mirror seems to smirk back at me; she seems to mock me.

"Go away," I shout, batting at the air in front of me. I slip on the bathroom rug and fall back; I try to protect my head the best as I could. Turning onto my side when I fall to the floor I stare at the bathroom door, tears running down my face. Eventually my eyes fall to the white floor, it was too blurry to see a thing. Beetee knocks on the door, but regards any welcome inside and opens the door. He notices me and takes steps toward me and kneels down, "oh Cecil. What happened?"

"The monster, she is back. She is in the mirror, mocking me. She made me fall," I choke out between my tears. Beetee looks up at the mirror for a second and gets off his knee to go look. He stares at it for a second and comes back to help me up. I grab onto his hand and pull myself up; I felt no pain from the fall. "Now look in the mirror," he pulls his arm over my shoulder and walks me over to the mirror.

The monster was standing next to Beetee. She had no emotion standing next to him. She felt to no comfort or reassurance like I did when he was around. I start crying once again, but this time into Beetee's shoulder. "There, there, now come downstairs, I will make some tea and make a phone call," he whispered to me. I nod my head and he leads me downstairs.

I take a seat on his large love seat; I pull myself up and sit there quietly. My body felt tense, it just sat there in pain. Seconds later, I feel relief as Beetee walks in with a pot of tea and two cups. He lays it down on the coffee table and pours me a cup and hands it to me. "I will be back, please do not leave," he whispers, heading back into the kitchen. I sit there, trying to hear on his conversation.

There was a faint sound, but you could hear Beetee. "Well I need somebody to look at her, you are the only guy that I know," he quietly speaks, "thank you, see you in twenty minutes." He hangs up the phone and comes back and takes a seat back across from me. His smile was devious, but it fades quickly as he takes a sip of his tea. I had not touch mine. "Who did you call?" I question him.

"A friend," Beetee answers me, "he is coming over in a little bit to see you."

"What might this friends occupation be?" I reply back.

"He is a doctor, Cecil just stop complaining, he is a nice guy. He just is worried about your well-being. Anyways, lets talk about you. I did not get to speak to you much in the Capitol," Beetee adds taking a sip of his tea, "I forget your token, what was it?"

"My dog tags, the one you get when you are a genetic engineered baby. I still wear them as a sign of strength," I reply, but there is another question, "do you think I am loony?"

"You mean crazy? No, just emotionally unstable. Do not worry, I did not call this guy so you can go to the nut house," he assures me, "who is the monster you talk about? Why does she scare you?"

"That monster is something I saw when I was coming back to the Capitol. I saw her in the safety glass; " I reply to his question, "she followed me out from the arena. She hangs over me like the plague. She is always there."

"Oh is that it?" he takes another sip of his tea, "she followed you from the games?" I nod my head. Everything goes quiet then. I sit and start to drink my cup of tea. It is warm and taste like caramel. Beetee stares at me, like he was examining me. There is a knock on the door and he gets up to answer it.

A man in a dark dress suit walks in, he has glasses just like Beetee, but his hair is gray with little strips of black. Beetee whispers something into his ear before he greets me on the couch, "Hello Cecil, I am Dr. Witchell, I am here to examine you." I talk to him for about two hours, I could tell because sun was staring to shine though the east side windows. Eventually he hands me his clipboard and tells me to read it over to make sure everything was right. "I, I can not," I stutter, "I have Dyslexia. "

"Oh that is fine dear, I will read it out loud to you," he smiles at me and starts reading through his notes.

I nod my head, "everything sound right, the monster, the death, the insecurities. What is wrong with me?"

"Well I just want you to stay with Beetee for awhile, you never know Mr. Chaang might get lucky," Dr. Witchell chuckles to himself, and Beetee shoos him off the couch he adds one more thing before leaving the home, "I will call you later Ms. Taylor." He closes the door behind him and returns to me.

"Sorry about the comment that Michael made, he has a habit of doing that. He says I am crazy since I have not married or even dated yet," Beetee's cheeks where painted with a blush, "he is trying to get me a date."

"It is fine," I whisper to him, "not all of us want people hooking us up with people that we do not know." We sit back and watch a Capitol T.V. announcement. It was about the Victory Tour and the date has been released. I was going to be touring Panem in about two months. "Is the Victory Tour horrible?" I ask Beetee quietly, staring at the screen that shows the Capitol's seal.

"I will not lie, yes. You see the depressed families of those who lives were lost; you get to see the survivors who are just as pitiful as the families. That is why me and Wiress are there for you, so you can stand going through this," Beetee answers, but he changes the subject quickly, "so you have Dyslexia? My sister had that, I tutored her, and I can help you out since the doctor does not want you to leave. "

"That sounds nice," I whisper to him, "tell me when you want to do it."

"How about tonight, at seven, in the library?" he replied to me, "I have an inventors meetings with a factory producer today. I can give up some inventing time for that."

"That is fine, but I am going back upstairs to go back to sleep if you need me," I whisper, "see you later."

"See you," he whispered, walking over to the coat hanger and putting on his coat, "there are leftovers in the fridge if you get hungry." Beetee quickly puts on his shoes before leaving the house.

I head back to my quiet room and lie on the large queen bed once again and bury myself in the gray cover and sheets. I was thinking over what the doctor commented on. Why did he think Beetee would get lucky? I am a nut; he is smart and organized and deserves somebody better. Then again, opposites can attract, just like a magnet. I shake off any thought about the Doctor and try to go back to sleep.

This time I have a dream of a mirror. Just a mirror in a dark room, a light hits the mirror and shows the monster. The monster was I. It followed my every movement and moved the mirror along with it. Eventually it grabs onto me and traps me into the mirror. I wake up with a fright. Peering over the clock I notice that it is five thirty and I could hear my stomach rumble.

I head downstairs to find Beetee home early from his meeting. He was eating a turkey sandwich and was reading the newspaper. When I enter the kitchen he peers up and smiles, "I am home early, if you want to do the tutoring. Really I do not feel like inventing tonight."

"Well can we bring some cookies with us when we go down there?" I ask him.

He nods his head and gets up from his chair, "yes we can, I will make some tea as well. Go ahead and go downstairs, I will meet you there." Nodding my head I left the kitchen and started to make my way down the basement stairs. I turn on a switch and the lights come on. It is a small library, no bigger than a small apartment. It was painted in orange hues; there are rows of dark wood bookcases. A white love seat was placed in the corner, along with a dark wood coffee table. There were books stacked on the coffee table.

I sit on the love seat and stare at the library. I never been in one, I always feared going into one. When Beetee comes downstairs, I notice the plate that he brought with him. "Need help?" I ask him, he shakes his head and lays the plate next to the stack of books. He had a plate of chocolate cookies, two cups of green tea, and some dried fruit. It smelt amazing.

"Okay, let me get a book," Beetee smiles at me and walks away. I pick up a cookie and dip it in my tea. I let the flavor run over my tongue, it was delicious. I sit back and just enjoy my cookie. When he comes back, my cookie was gone. The book he brought back was large, one that a parent would read to their three year old. "I know it is a book for younger kids, but this helped my sister start reading at the beginning," he whispers and twitches a little bit, "lets begin."

Beetee sits down next to me and opens the book. I scoot closer to him to see the book. He sits there quietly and starts to give me directions how to read. Eventually I get a page read and he closes the book. He whispers a great job and lays it to the side before grabbing a cookie and some tea. He leans his head back and sighs and stares in my direction. I stare back, we are like that for minutes.

Surprise and shock; Beetee leans in and plants his lips onto mine. I sit there with my eyes wide open. He wraps his arms around my upper back. I close my eyes and take in this moment of passion and put my hand on his face. The kiss was intimate; his hands slide slowly to my mid back. When the kiss breaks, I am disappointed. His face was stern looking back at me. He removes his arms and gets up, "I am sorry, that was not supposed to happen."

When he starts to walk away, I grab onto his wrist, "no do not leave me, that was amazing."

Beetee shakes me off, "I am not supposed to do that, well, give me time to think. Goodnight." He walks away and leaves me by myself in the library. I grab the kids book next to the tray and walk out of the basement, turning off the light on my way out. He was long gone by now, up in his room doing who knows what. I do the same, heading upstairs and plopping straight onto my bed.

I prop the book on my bedside table and stare at it. My gaze never leaves the cover with a large picture and the green text. A smile reaches my lips, thinking about tonight and what happened. I shut my eyes and let slumber take over. Tomorrow was going to be another day.


	4. Chapter 4

"_If I could find a way to see this straight  
>I'd run away<br>To some fortune that I should have found by now_

_So I run to the things they said could restore me  
>Restore life the way it should be<br>Waiting for this cough syrup to come down_

_One more spoon of cough syrup now"_

_Cough Syrup, Young the Giant_

The mirror had a hundred cracks from where I hit it with something heavy. It is cracked into hundreds of little pieces, some falling down onto the sink. My hands are cut up, little incisions that are going to leave scars. I can hear screaming from behind the bathroom door, people wanting to know what was happening in here. I do not answer; it makes no sense to. Eventually my stylist breaks the lock and enters the bathroom. You could hear the sigh escape from his lips when he sees my hands. "Come here darling, " Sienna sighs and I walk up to him.

He examines my hands for the longest of time before taking me to a doctor on the train. The doctor stares at my hands in shock, "what happened?"

"She broke her bathroom mirror, do not ask me why she did it," Sienna replies, wiping the hair of my eyes. Tears run down my eyes, my glasses fall off my nose. I am horrible; I do not deserve great people like Sienna. The doctor pulls out the little pieces of glass out my hands and wraps them in some type of fabric and sends me away.

Sienna pulls his arm around my shoulder, "I should have told them to take the mirror out of your bathroom. I was an idiot, please forgive me."

"It is not your fault Sienna," I whisper to him, "I am the one who is an idiot." I realize the small scratches in my outfit now. It was the outfit that Sienna made me for the beginning of the tour, now it was ruined. He leads me into my train compartment and sits me down on the bed. I sit down and stare at the floor; I could not stand looking at him right now. I ruin everything.

"Darling, you should start to tell me, Beetee or even Wiress if you are having issues, do not break the mirror in your bathroom," Sienna had his eyes glued on me, I could feel his stare, "we are here to help you, not to judge. We know that you are going through a really emotional time right now. Every tribute does that; Wiress was exactly the same way. Now just listen to me as I say this, we are here to help. Now look up at me, you are not a horrible person."

I peer up at him, "I am; everybody knows that."

"Ugh," he groaned and got up, "stay." Sienna left my room and I lay back on the bed. He hates me, they all hate being around me. I reach for the sketchpad that I laid by my pillow last night. I open the leather cover and look through the pictures, one opens to the picture I drew of the kiss Beetee and me had. It was probably the best moment in my life by far. I feel the heat rush to my cheeks; I must be blushing.

When I pull myself up Beetee and Sienna walk through the door, "well that is a change from a moment ago darling, where did the blush come from?"

I point to the drawing I did, "amazing." Beetee sits down next to me and peers down at the drawing. His dark brown eyes meet mine, he smiles for a second but it fades. I feel his hand reach over the lower part of my back as he pulls me closer. Laying my head onto his shoulder I whisper, "you are back."

"Yeah, I am done thinking about it," Beetee whispered, then I feel him twitch a little, "do not bring yourself down darling." It has been two months since I talked to him. His grasp felt great, his twitchiness was a relief. "I think I will leave you two alone, darling I will be back in a minute with your dress for District Twelve, I gave the preps are break," Sienna bows his head before leaving the room.

I pull myself onto his lap and put my head in the crook of his neck. Beetee smiles and pulls my chin up and kisses me on the lips. This time was not a shock; I close my eyes and throw my arms around his neck. It was passion this time. There was no break within a couple of minutes. When he lifts me up, I am surprised of his strength. He lays me back down onto the bed, shifting his weight to be on top of me.

We keep close; I could feel his breath on my neck. For a couple of seconds I feel like I am in heaven. This kiss was the most passionate by far, and he motions to go further on. His hands reach the bottom of my shirt, but he continues kissing. When he breaks the kiss there is a knock on the door. Beetee stays how he is, "come in."

Sienna walks in, but notices what we are doing, "oh, I am sorry but we must get going, I can see District Twelve in the distance."

"Oh I am sorry Sienna," Beetee gets up from the top of me, he quickly walks out of the room and blows me a kiss before stating this, "we will continue this later, okay?" I nod my head and watch in leave the room. Sienna sighs and shakes his head and grumbles something under his breath before working on my body. It was made into the perfect Capitol girl that I am expected to be.

When Sienna starts to braid my hair, he starts a conversation, "So you and Beetee? I thought you two would be together somehow. Now I see my prediction was right."

"You seriously thought that?" I ask him, running my hand through the thick, black fabric of my dress.

He nods his head, "my instincts are usually right. Darling, look in the mirror and tell me what you see." I step in front of the full body mirror. I wore a thick, black dress that fell to my knees; I had on a pair of white, thick tights; and black heels that made me at least three inches taller. My face was not caked with make up, I could still see my pale face, the freckles on my cheeks, and dark brown eyes that seemed to stare everywhere. The only difference I saw was silver eyeliner and black lipstick. I was as dark as coal; I was coal. "You are ready," Sienna whispers, then I feel the train stop.

"Right on time then," I whisper, him and me enter the hallway. The train slowly makes a stop and I am escorted away from Sienna. He shouts some encouraging words before I am outside in District Twelve. Beetee, no dressed in a suit, and Wiress, who is in a dress, stand next to me. There are cameras everywhere; little flashes of light engulf my body. They gawk at my dress; people literally try to jump over the barriers to get the perfect picture.

Another ring of peacekeepers barrel through the crowd; they make a line for me to head over to the Justice Building. My mentors lead the way; I follow shortly behind then the peacekeepers pace behind me. It is not a long walk to get to the Justice Building, but when I get there I get a couple of minutes to rest away from the cameras. The peacekeepers leave, leaving me, Beetee, and Wiress (who eventually goes away and talks to what looks like the mayor.) It only leaves Beetee and me. He sits across from me on the little white couches that were scattered in the room. "What made you rethink this?" I ask him, pushing up my glasses.

"Rethink what?" He asked, looking down at his feet, but back up at me.

"The whole relationship thing."

"I guess seeing that it actually meant something to you made me rethink it; that the kiss was nothing more than a random kiss from a stranger," Beetee whispers, moving over to my chair and kisses my forehead, "you are my little darling, and nothing can change that."

"It is time for the tour Ms. Taylor," I could hear the mayor's raspy voice from behind the door. I take a deep breath, smile a Beetee for a second, and open the door. The mayor, a young, tall guy, with blonde hair and blue eyes, greets me; he motions me to head over to the front doors. We step out into the chilly winter air that nips at my nose. Another set of peacekeepers block us from the paparazzi as we start the tour.

I tune most of the tour out; really I could care less about what District 12 does. The mayor just rambled on about coal production and the Capitol. When I go down into the mines, I have a short-lived panic attack. They cannot control my flailing and instantly pull me back above the earth. I feel my body go back to its normal way. I just stand there when the Peacekeepers and the mayor discuss what to do next. We just head back to the Justice Building.

Beetee greets me at the door, throwing his arms around my shoulders and embracing me. I rest my head between the crook of his neck. "What happened darling?" He whispered; his warm breath warmed by cold face.

"I do not know," I whisper back, burrowing my head deeper onto his body. I could hear the sigh escape his lips as he lets go. Him and the mayor leave my presence. I am at the entrance of the Justice Building. I might as well take a little walk around the coal-mining district. There was snow falling by now, little flakes of white make their descent to the ground below. The snow in the square was white, not soiled by the coal dust. I just look around; many of the shops are closed, unlike District Three. There are a few that are open, like a bakery. I just look through the window at the decorated cakes. They where amazing.

I start to walk to the next window, but run into someone and fall back onto the ground. I lean up, my lower back aches and radiates to my upper back. The other that I ran into holds out their hand, "I am sorry, miss."

Grabbing onto his hand, I pull myself up, "it is okay, I am sorry to running into you. My ADHD has a habit of making me look at pretty things." The face was clear to me now; he was a twenty something, gray eyes, and dark hair. He was a coal miner, I could tell by his face.

"No, it is my fau-" suddenly the man stops talking and changes the subject, "I am sorry Ms. Taylor. You must be on your tour of District Twelve."

I shake my head, "no, but can you help me get back to the Justice Building? I think I am lost."

He smiles and nods his head, "follow me." I walk behind the man that I ran into, why I trusted him to take me to the Justice Building was a mystery. His voice was amazing though; I literally could hear the birds go silent as we walk by. I close my eyes and I am back at home in District Three. J used to sing to us during special events, in a way to calm us. He sang to me when I waited to go to the arena. When I came back, the first week he came to visit, his voice still calmed me. This man's voice calmed me, just like Beetee and Wiress did.

When we are at the Justice building I open my eyes. The man's gray irises are straight on me, "here you are Ms. Taylor, now I must get going."

I grab onto his wrist when he starts to leave, he turns around and I ask him, "What is your name?"

"Alder Everdeen," he shakes my hand away, "now I must get going. Pleasure to meet you." I watch him leave, he was frustrated with me; however, I would see him later, when I have to give a speech to the District. I head back into the Justice Building. Wiress frantically runs up to me, "where…?"

"I was in the square, everybody left me," I whisper to her, "I am sorry."

"Well hurry…" she cuts her sentence and grabs onto my wrist and drags me into another room. There was Sienna, along with Beetee and the Mayor. Wiress sits me down next to Sienna, she goes and sits on his other side next to Beetee. "Okay, well since we found Cecil, what are we going to do for the speech?" the mayor asks, "we have about twenty minutes."

"I will just make it up as I go," I whisper, leaning back on the couches, "that is the only way I am going to do it. I am dyslexic and cannot read from a piece of paper. So that is the best decision."

"Okay, I just wanted to know how this was going. Lets get ready and get you on the balcony," the mayor replies. He gets up and two peacekeepers follow him. Beetee and Wiress both stand up and walk behind him, leaving Sienna and me in the room alone. Together we wait in silence until a peacekeeper leads me up to the balcony doors. I stand there, watching the snowfall outside the doors. "Go ahead out Ms. Taylor," a peacekeepers gruff voice leads me outside.

There are flashes of cameras, video was being recorded of this time, my head was dizzy from all that was going on. The mayor hands me a useless trinket and walks off the now small stage. I stare down at the families of the two District 12 tributes' families. I did not see them in the arena; they were killed in the bloodbath. My head was spinning when I catch a glimpse of Haymitch Abernathy; the now drunk man stands in the crowd, almost falling down.

"Well, District Twelve, I am sorry for your lost," my speech was slurred at first, but it goes back to normal, "I know how you have lost your tributes for so long. I am sorry." I bow my head, a sigh of respect in District Three, and walk through the balcony doors. I did not know what to say, but I had a feeling that I would not be able to last if I stayed out any longer. Beetee and Wiress both are there, tell me that I did fine, and lead me downstairs for dinner.

"Maybe she needs some food, she refused to eat breakfast earlier," Beetee explains to the mayor, who greets us down stairs, "I apologize if it did not go well." There is a table set out; there is food that lines the middle. The smell of food repulsed me, but my brain knew that I needed something to keep going. I take a seat across from, the drunken victor, Haymitch. He eats nothing, but he drinks alcohol like it is the last thing in the world. Oh how I could I go for a drink right now!

When people start talking to one another, I just want to talk to Haymitch. He sits there quietly, now feet propped up on the table, sipping a drink. His brown hair is a mess, his gray eyes red from where he drank too much over the years. I wish I had alcohol to numb the pain of the games; maybe I would not make so many mirrors because of it. "Hey, where do you get the alcohol?" I ask him, demanding to know where.

Haymitch peers up, his eyes glazed over with sleepiness, "why, sweetheart?"

"I need something to calm my nerves," I get up and grab onto the end of the table.

His eyes thin, but he grabs a couple of shot glasses and scoots the things from the middle of the table. Haymitch lines the glasses and fills them with some type of liquor. "Lets play a drinking game then," he smirks, "whenever someone says my name I take a drink, if they say yours you take one. Got that?" I nod my head, and wait for someone to say my name. It turns out many people call out my name, and I am tipsy by the end of the night.

"Come on darling, we must get going," Beetee whispers to me, noticing that I am drunk, and snaps at Haymitch, "what in the hell did you do to her!"

He looks up from the glass of wine he was drinking, "hey, she wanted to do it."

"I did Beetee, I am sorry," I groan, holding my head as the room spins, "I need something to calm my nerves." Beetee is quiet for a couple of seconds and helps me out of my chair and walks me out to the train. I wanted to vomit, but I decide to stay with my mentor. He walks me into my room and lays me down on the bed. I black out after that, but the next morning I wake up to find myself naked next to Beetee. At least he kept his promise.


	5. Chapter 5

"_You are the closest I will ever come to magic." ― Suzanne Finnamore, The Zygote Chronicles  
><em>

The Victory Tour was just about to close. Two weeks of hell that I suffered. Two weeks of wanting to climb in a hole and hope nobody will find me. Two weeks that I will remember for the rest of my long life. No, I am not great. I cannot even speak in front of a crowd with out Beetee around. I am going to feel the pain of this when I get home; at least I have someone that now cares about my well-being.

In District Eleven everything was extremely bright. The sunlight was too extreme for me; I had sunburn on my left arm from that district. All the other Districts did not matter to me until District Five. There I apologized to about everybody walking down the street. However, I knew that they were going to resent me for not saving their tributes. I could not do it. When I did the small speech, I broke out into tears. The career Districts all just pushed me to the side, especially in District One. In District Three, home, everybody was so kind and told me that I did perfectly fine. At least that was a relief.

I could see the lights of the Capitol in the distance now. It is early in the morning; the sun has yet to make its light stretch across Panem. I stretch my body out on the bed, accidentally hitting Beetee who is sleeping next to me. I feel horrible, my body is extremely fatigued, my body was tender everywhere. "Are you okay, darling?" Beetee opened his sleepy eyes.

"I feel sick," I whispered into the darkness, not turning to the man next to me, "I also just want to go to sleep, I just want to sleep and run away. I do not know what is wrong with me."

"You make me concerned Cecil, I am calling a doctor to check up on you right now. Something is up, this is the third day you have been fatigued and sick," I could feel him twitching all the way over here. I pull myself closer to him and let him pulls his arms around me. Beetee sighs, but I break lose from his grip and run into the bathroom.

I throw up whatever was in my stomach at the time, which was not much. When I am done, I just go into fetal position next to the toilet. "Are you okay?" Beetee knocks on the door. When I do not answer, he just swings it open and kneels next to me on the floor. He sighs once again, gets off on his knee and picks me up off the ground. He lays me back down on the bed, in the same position I was in the bathroom. "Stay," he commands me, "I will be back." Beetee exits the room and leaves me in the room.

Warm tears fall off my face. What was wrong with me? Every whimper makes me shudder; I actually was showing emotion. When Beetee comes back, along with Sienna I feel a little better. "What do you think is wrong with you?" Sienna asked, letting out a yawn, "or shall I get the prep team now and wait for the doctor's decision in the Capitol?"

"I do not know what is wrong with me, so I will get a doctor to look at me later," I reply to them, sniffing my nose and pulling myself out of bed. Beetee takes a seat on the bed next to me, pulling his arms around my shoulders. Sienna leaves to get my prep team. I whimper in Beetee's arms, I did not want to go to the Capitol; I just wanted to hide in my house until I died. "Just quiet down, darling," he runs his hand through my hair, "you will find out what is wrong later."

Later was not an understatement. A doctor was rushed onto the train after going through a crowd of paparazzi. My prep team had already made me up into my Capitol persona. I run my finger through my now braided hair. The only thing I have not been dressed into was my outfit for the Capitol. "Hello Ms. Taylor, I am Dr. Claire, now lets get this over so you can get to your party," the doctor whispers, he is a fifty-year-old (even though you could not tell by the plastic surgery he had), with dark green hair, and gray eyes. Typical Capitol.

"Okay when was your last period," He starts going down the list.

My eyes open in shock; I did not even know today's date, why did I not think about that! Stupid! "What is today's date?" I ask him.

"The fifteenth, why do you ask?" he peers down at his clipboard, "so please tell me when."

I count the days in my head, my thoughts where right, "I am late."

"So you do know that, okay what are you symptoms other than the vomiting and fatigue?"

"Nothing that I can tell," I explain to him. Then the doctor starts going down a list of symptoms, I say no to most of them.

When he is done, he places down the clipboard and looks into my eyes, "okay, I am pretty sure that you are pregnant. Who may you think is the father?"

I have only had one partner, and he is standing in doorway when the doctor gives me the news, "he is right behind you."

The doctor turns around and smiles, "congratulations are in order Mr. Chaang, you are going to be a father. Now if you excuse me, I have to fight through the cameras. I will call you later Mr. Chaang to get an update on Cecil's condition. Good day to you both." He picks up his clipboard and exits the room. Beetee stands there motionless, staring at me under his glasses.

"I am sorry," I explain to him softly, "it is all my fault."

Beetee finally moves over to the bed and sits down next to me; he pulls his arms around me and sits there in silence. I felt like I did something wrong, something that I would never be able to take back. It is my fault; I was the one that wanted to go further. I start crying again, choking out words like _'sorry'_, and _'please do not hate me.' _He just stayed quiet; I wanted something out of him.

When Sienna comes, he finds out that I was crying. I did not ruin my makeup though; he knew to put on waterproof. "What did the doctor say?" he asks, putting me into my dress and jacket.

"I am pregnant, " I whisper softly.

Sienna turns to Beetee, who still is silent and now unmoving like a statue, "congrats Beetee, you are going to be a father. Now come on, be happy for you and your girlfriend." The only thing that moves on his body was one of his hands, which just shoos the comment off. I just needed him to speak, but he would not. It was eating at me on the inside. "Just say something," I get up and start yelling, "I want to know that you want this child too. I want it; they are some magic to help me get through. Please just say something."

Beetee turns around and has a cold stare on his face, "I do want this child. Just let me think." Then he is gone, and I do not see him again when I leave into the car with Wiress. She is not a talker and stays quiet the whole entire time. Sienna has come with us as well, but he just sips some Capitol liquor. I sit there alone, nobody was there to comfort me and tell me things are going to be all right. Oh yeah, and there was a chance that I would be meeting my so-called parents tonight. That is why Sienna left my dog tags on.

When I first enter the party, after exiting the car, I felt sick. I had to go to the bathroom for the first twenty minutes of the party. Eventually I return to it and crowded by my sponsors. They want pictures, they want dances, and one of them wants a piece of my hair. "May I have some food first, I am starving," I ask them, and they allow me to go to the table that is piled with food. I am starved and pick up one of everything and sit down at the table Wiress and Sienna are sitting at. The two of them look at the pile of food I have in shock, my stylist asks me, "are you having cravings?"

"I am starving Sienna," I pout, "I need some food in my stomach. Then I will go burn it off from dancing with all my sponsors. You know there are a lot of them. One of them wants a piece of my hair for what he said was his 'collection.' Better get some energy now."

Sienna chuckles, "typical Capitol. Just eat your food; I am not going to blame you for eating all that. Technically you are eating for two now."

"Thank you," I whisper to him, "help me out if you see one of my sponsors chasing me with a pair of scissors."

He is hysterically laughing right now, "will do." I just shove all the food into my mouth, devouring it with in about a twenty-minute time frame. When I get up, I am stuffed, but I dance with my first sponsor. It is a man in his mid thirties, he just rambles on about how I am so skilled with a spear. I swear I would punch him with in a couple of seconds. The next couple of them were not too bad, but still a pain to stand.

There is one person I dance with that is not a sponsor, but a Gamemaker. He is in his late thirties, and his beard could talk for him. I just stare at it most of the time we are dancing, until he starts talking to me. "So, what are you doing when you get back home from the Capitol?" he starts throwing questions at me.

"Well I have to go and find a doctor to monitor me," I whisper to him, hoping the man actually would hear me, he does.

"Why is that?"

"Can you keep a secret," I am even quieter now, when the man nods his head I give him the news, "I am pregnant." The older man lets go of me and covers his mouth in shock. I just look down at my feet, tapping them together a couple of times. Eventually the man states that he has to leave for a meeting, before he leaves I notice the silver gleam of a silver chain from under his shirt. I say nothing though, give him a kind farewell and let him leave.

My sponsors settle down, leaving me to sit by myself at a table. I just wanted Beetee right now; I wanted him here to talk to him about the child. However, that was not the case, the man I danced with earlier takes a seat across from me. He smiles and takes a sip of whatever drink he had. "Well it looks like you did not have to leave for long," I whisper, folding my napkin, trying to make a rose.

"Yeah, it was just something unimportant. Anyways, who is the father of your child," he asked me, back to the questioning.

I gulp, I did not trust this guy one bit, "why do you want to know?"

"Well I do not want to tell you the secret that I hold for another couple of years. I just want to know, that is all," his cold stare meets my gaze, and then I knew he was serious and I better tell him.

"Beetee Chaang," I whisper to him, "happy now?"

"Very," he replies, setting his drink aside, "so your mentor? That is nice. How many months are you in right now?"

"None, I just found out," I whisper, "I estimate three days though."

"Well lets get off this topic then, how is life in District Three?"

"Are you a Designer Father?" I replied to him with a question, "do you have dog tags?" Designer Fathers where what District Five called the Capitol men that come with their wives to have a designer baby. The also got a pair of dog tags with the code for their selves, their wives, and their unborn child. I knew this because I was one of those "designer babies." The only difference I had a gene malfunction and got two disorders from it. I knew my number though; I was C-12567.

I would be able to hear his sigh from across the room, "yes I am, and yes I do have those dog tags. You want to see them?" I nod my head and he takes off the silver chain and hands them to me. I find his code and scratch it down on a napkin, "F-17652".

"Thank you," I whisper to him and hand his dog tags back to him, "what is your name."

He quickly puts his dog tags back under his shirt and peers up at me in confusion when I ask what his name is, "Seneca Crane. I thought you would know that?"

"I am sorry, but I can not read due to my Dyslexia, all letters look like they are spinning around the room. It is hard for me," I whisper to him, "but thank you for your time, but I must get going, Beetee must be waiting for me on the train to talk baby names." I get up and bow my head to the Gamemaker before heading over to the front door, I really needed some alone time before confronting Beetee about our child.

I peer at the napkin that I stuffed in my pocket, Beetee surely helped me read, these numbers did not look that bad. "F-17652", I pull out my dog tags to compare the father code to mine. The silver was worn out do to how much I wear them and never take them off. I barely could pick it out, but I could read the first four numbers, "F-1765". The fifth was a mystery to me, but I could not throw out the thought that he might be my father.

Wiress walks behind me and tells me that it is time. Then I knew what she was saying; it was time to actually leave the Capitol. It was no problem for me though; I wanted to leave this hellhole. I knew I would return here with in a couple of months to be the mentor for the District Three female. Sienna was not there to say goodbye, but I tomorrow I would need to hear his voice again and call him.

A couple of minutes later they are back at the train station, a much shorter ride than earlier with all the cameras. I step onto the train station and pull myself back onto the train. Beetee is there; he never left, sitting like an unmoving statue. Even when Wiress calls his name he does not move. When I sit down on his lap, he moves a little bit, pulling me closer to his chest. I lay my head on his shoulder and watch him stroke my middle.

"I am sorry for my reaction, I was childish," Beetee whispers, and twitches a little bit before laying his head on top of mine. His eyes do not leave my abdomen; they stay glued to it like a child at a candy store. A smile pulls up on his lips when he looks at me.

"I hope it is a boy," I whisper into his ear, kissing his cheek.

"I just hope it is healthy," he whispers, but I knew what he actually was saying, 'you want a boy too?'

I giggle under my breath and whisper into his ear, "yeah, I knew you wanted a boy too."

He sighs, but you could hear a small chuckle, "you know me so well."

"I know everybody so well," a yawn leaves my lips and I slip into a dream world. A dream world that only belongs to my family; I am the mother, Beetee the father, and our young son Alexander. He has a set of jet-black hair like his father, he has dark brown eyes like the both of us, but you could see some of my facial features. In this world, there is no injustice, in this world there is nobody wanting to harm my child. This world has no Hunger Games; there is no threat to sending my child into the arena. This world was peaceful, something like the stories of North America from long ago.

When I wake up, I find myself in my bedroom; Beetee was sleeping next to me. He was my rock; he was the thing that was going to keep me strong through out this pregnancy. I could get used to having someone in my life now, at least he would not leave me like my parents did long ago. I drift off back into my world, and watch as our little toddler toddles in the field. It was amazing.


	6. Chapter 6

"_Why didn't I learn to treat everything like it was the last time. My greatest regret was how much I believed in the future." ― __Jonathan Safran Foer__, __Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close_

Smiles. Smiles filled the pain of yet another reaping day. He was so hard to carry right now, when I knew children from this district where going to be sent to death. I wish I were Haymitch, drink my sorrows away for the rest of my life. However, I wanted to keep him healthy, I wanted him to be nothing like his mother. My bulging middle was a sign of new life, not just for my unborn child, but myself. I had something that I needed to care for, which I never had before.

Beetee has been so kind through out this time in my life. He has been there, every doctor appointment, ever time that I complained that he made me fat. He still is here, and I am happy for that. He could have left me like my parents did at my birth. He wants this child too though, so it makes me happy that he did not reject me. He lies next to me now, running his hands through my long, matted hair. "When do we have to have to go to the reaping?" I whisper, placing my hand over lump on my abdomen.

"Three, it starts at four," Beetee whispers to me, turning onto his back and staring up at the ceiling, "I just hope we get another winner, I was so happy when I saw that you won; same thing with Wiress. I had been the only victor for a while."

"I know," I whisper to him, I put my hand on his thigh, "I love you."

"Love you too darling," He whispered, pulling himself out of the bed and walking out of the room. He leaves me in the bedroom, which is an ugly gray color, but the furniture was filled with colour. I peer blindly at the clock; the green tint of the digital numbers read two. I had an hour to get ready. There was not much for me to do, so I could lay back and dream of my future child. I could feel my eyes gently close and I fall back to sleep.

It was a bright day in District Three; it was as bright as District Eleven, but it still was a nice spring day. All of the flowers are blooming; they leave a nice scent over the District. I sit at the small coffee shop that is in the square. The only difference is, nobody is out right now. There is no cashier, no people running in and out. Everything was extremely quiet. I try to find where my son or Beetee was.

Suddenly the buildings start to decay. I cannot stay where I am, or I would decay along with the buildings. There is nobody around me, so I hop over the fence and start running towards the Victor's Village. However, I find it gone. The sun was decaying as well; it fell behind a dark a sky and it start to rain. I just to run further while water pelt me from the sky. A hole starts to build in the middle of the District. My feet give out, well actually are frozen to the middle of the street, and I am engulfed in the darkness of the hole.

I wake with out a scare, pulling myself and panting heavily. Peering over at the clock, I was asleep for forty-five minutes. I prop myself up and just finger comb my hair quickly. Other than that I was ready, pull my shoes on and meet Beetee downstairs. He was sitting alone, drinking a cup of coffee. When I enter the room he peers up and smiles, "ready to go to the Reaping, mommy?"

"Not really, but lets get it over, daddy," I reply to him, he gets up, leaving his cup of coffee and grabs onto my hand. We walk through the house together and to the front door. Beetee grabs my coat and helps me put it over my body, and my small bag of things that I was bringing to the Capitol. He pulls over his hooded jacket and grabs onto my hand one more time. Then we exit into the chilly spring air.

There are crowds from people being brought on trains from the more southern factories. I hold my head in thought, if my prediction was right J and the others would be in that group. "Do not worry, none of them are going to be chosen," Beetee whispers into my ear as we exit Victor's Village and start to make our way to the square. Then I catch a gimp of J leading a group of about thirty kids.

"It does not look like the odds are going to be in their favor," I whisper to him and turn my vision to my mentor. Beetee has a stern face that keeps forward. I just lean my head onto his shoulder. I wonder where Wiress is in all this, but I was taking her place, maybe she was just going to show up at the square. When we are in the square, I frantically search for her. She was nowhere to be found, so I give up and sit on the stage.

A new escort introduces himself to us, he is older, wore a dark gray wig, and had three jewels implanted into his neck. His eyes where auburn, a shade of brown that amazed me every time I saw it. "Hello I am Jeremiah Swaits, " his voice was perfect for being an escort, but I knew he was five's escort last year. The mayor pushes him to the side and walks up onto the stage. See, the mayor was Beetee's older sister Cho Chaang. She was a tough cookie, but like her distant ancestor (and founder of District Three), Cho was kind to just about everybody.

"Welcome my wonderful Citizens of District Three, welcome to the reaping of the Fifty-Eight Hunger Games," the mayor tries to be as cheerful as possible for the cameras, "now lets get it over." There was her sarcastic side. She goes through the Treaty of Treason. I tune most of it out and just stare into the crowd of kids, wondering whom I had to be the mentor for.

"Let me formally introduce our new escort, Jeremiah Swaits!" she does a short clap before taking a seat next to her brother. Jeremiah says a short hello before pulling out of the glass ball. First was the female names, the name of the girl I was going to mentor. "Your female tribute is Yuri Ito!" he shouts into the microphone, a skinny, black haired girl with glasses too big for her nose. She was about fifteen, which was a relief to me. Anybody younger would be torture for me.

Now it was time for the male tribute. Jeremiah takes out a piece of paper and unfolds it, he takes a step towards the microphone and says the name, "Circuit Mason." My body is screaming when the name is called, it was my Circuit. The one seven-year-old that I first talked to; my first human contact in my age group. He is only thirteen years of age! Why did the Capitol do this to me? I am tearing up on live television, but let the stupid idiots of the Capitol see my pain, let them know that I will not stand for this. When Circuit steps onto the stage he takes a glance at me before staring out at the audience and the cameras.

"Now District Three meet your tributes Yuri Ito and Circuit Mason!" he announces into the microphone until pushing the kids into the Justice Building. I pull closer to Beetee and burrow my head into his chest. There was no way that anybody was pulling me away from him, or moving me onto that god forbidden train. I did not want to go back to that hell.

"Now Darling, we must get on the train," Beetee whispers to me, picking me up despite my extra weight, and carrying me over to the train, "we will talk about this later." Stepping onto the train and pulling me into our compartment and he lays me down on the fluffy queen bed. The room was unchanging, still was bright yellow, and still reminds me of the Capitol. Beetee plops down onto the bed next to me, pulls his arms around my chest and takes deep breaths. He knew that it calmed me if he was by my side.

"You want to talk?" he asks me, but I am already in my other realm, the one which there is no hell. It might be a dream world, but it is the only way I was going to survive this hell. Circuit has been added to my dream world, along with Yuri. They where like my children, and I had to protect them; at least they where safe here, away from pain and suffering, and not being sent to their death.

"Cecil! Wake up darling!" Beetee's voice calls, I could feel him shaking my body. It was time for dinner, and then I could go back to bed. My eyes open to find him out of the room; I hold my head and exit the compartment and sit down at the table. Across from me was Yuri, her large gray eyes where staring at me. I believe she was looking through me for those couple of seconds. When she turns back to her food, I feel relieved.

"We will be in the Capitol in about twenty minutes right?" Circuit questions me, his dark brown eyes staring at me. I just nod my head silently and turn back down to my food. The train rides drifted off into complete silence, and there was no talk of strategy. Entering the tunnels, I find myself reliving old memories from a year ago. I just watch as the lights pass us in the odd blurred way that they always do. When we are out, it is a relief. I could see the waters that represented the entrance of the Capitol.

The beauty of the place, it masks the sick obsessions that the citizens had. Their little fetishes with watching children die in a constructed arena. It was not long since I have been in this hell. This god forbidden place was the last place that I actually wanted to be right now. The train slows, leaving us gripping onto the table before standing up to exit the train. "Beetee did you get my stuff?" I ask him, trying to search from my small bag.

He pats his side, "I have it all right here, Cecil. Lets get going." The children are taken to Sienna and Maria and their prep teams. Beetee starts walking away from me, "come on, since you are new the other victors are going to 'help you out.' Okay, just get through the next five minutes since we all go through it."

We enter a building about twelve feet away, and the other victors basically trample me. They all circle around me, but they all just stare. I just let my eyes stare back; I could see their smirks. It was quiet in the room, there was no feet shuffling on the tile. "Okay guys, I think she has had enough," Beetee whispers, laying my bag off to the side and staring at me, "lets help her get ready to be a mentor."

A/N;; So I apologize for this being so short! It is annoying I know. I promise that it will get better and actually be longer. I just wanted something about the reaping mostly. [/end of rambling] Thank you for reading!


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